Paradox Poem by Essie Ops

I love you, but I hate you too,
Caught in a web of want and rue.
I wish you'd come, but not too near,
To share my joy, but not my fear.

You're the tug inside my chest,
A weight I carry, never rest.
I want you close, but not the cost,
Of everything I've built or lost.

I know it's selfish, wrong to feel,
To want what's fake and fear what's real.
I'm not that smart, I'm pretty naive,
But losing you—I'd never believe.

So don't push me out, don't shut the door,
I'm not perfect, but I'm yours.
Don't take them all, don't leave me gray,
Don't take their love just to walk away.

I'm tired of this pull and ache,
This quiet war my heart can't shake.
But here I am, flawed to the end,
Loving you hurts—because you're my friend.