Saturday, May 27, 2017
Paradise Never Lost Comments
Rating: ★0.0
A sound heard, heart's chambers glad,
Images through gray soul windows,
Imprints of soulmate, queen of songs,
Ochanya, Ihutokum, danced in Ogriyan and Omagbae,
...
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7/22/2025 12:38:19 PM # 1.0.0
To an American reader (THIS American reader) , this poem is barely comprehensible. Your ESL(?) erors really harm it. I'd suggest you stop writing for a bit until you develop a better mastery of English. And you also might read lots of good contemporary poetry in English (Mary Oliver, Billy Collins) if you're going to improve as a poet. If you'd like, check out my new website: jeffersoncarterverse.com Tell me how you like it. Yrs, JC
Nice thanks... I appreciate the criticism will work on that...life is a learning process...and I think U Americans like making others feel inferior...I wrote it in an African way to show the originality in African Culture and Tradition....
Thanks for the criticism, I will work on that....But I think U Americans like making others feel inferior...I wrote this Poem in an African way to express the Originality and authenticity of we Africans in the great myth of love: - my love for lady Tina....