Paradise Comments

Your writing is flawless. Great detail!

hey that poem is amazing you had to have put alot of thought into it great poem! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! -Shawnee!

Spirit longing to live on earth-a ten.

hey this is really really nice and kinda mysterious.i like it alot

wow thats amazing nice job

OMG this is really beautiful well done!

beautiful piece great effort

beautiful. but i think the guisha would be better off joining the reaper =) lol im an evil person hahahaha

Beautiful poem. I realy like the geisha's part... //_* -. Cold 10 +++

very expressive i love this b/c it conveys how no matter how good or bad we have it we'll always wonder what if, or what life is like on the other side, *the grass is always greener on the other side*

Vincent I like the story behind the poem in that we spend a lifetime searching for paradise and wondering where it is at when in fact we may be as close as its gets...this may be all there is....or it may not hopefully, , , , ,

it's a beautiful poem i like the imagery and the diction good job ^^

Fabulous imagery! I love the way it ended as it began.

A well connected fantsy beutifully penned, too mature for your age. Enjoyed it. Keep it up. CP

hmm, very beautiful very long, this might make readers run away from readin it.... but overall beautiful

This is a very well-thought of and carefully and patiently developed tale about heaven, death, and paradise. It's beautiful and it tends to snatch the reader's imagination. Congratulations.

fantastic tale. lovely lil land you described.

Beautiful tale of longing and dreams. Nice.

Nice work, but rather lenghtly, and it has a tendecy to lose the readers trend of thought, none the less, good. Bonnie

Imaginative story posed in poetic prose but spoilt a little for me by change of tenses apparently randomly.