Painkillers Comments

Notwithstanding that it does have a strong message this didn't work for me. The rhyme is simplistic and there is an absence of rythym and timing in the that make it difficult to read. I'd be tempted to either go exclusively for short simple rhyme or else forget about the rhyme altogether and aim for an open and freeform prose work. That way the message would not be obscured. Just my personal opinion anyway.