Over The Years Comments

Re: Over the years (Score: 1) Grammar and Flow Robynn Mussell50 minutes ago Your poem, though wonderful in itself, is marred by the lack of punctuation and simple articles like a and the. There is also discontinuity with the 'beat' of the lines in each stanza. Without a way to make the syllables match, or are off by one or two (either more or less) , your poem seems to came apart and feel 'almost' broken. Take a look at some of Shakespeare's sonnets for an example of what I am explaining. Your rhyming is different, but it works here very well. Comment 1 Comment0 Hasmukh Mehta Less than a minute ago it is rarity in itself. you take amy stanza away.no where you will find such combination, you enjoy the theme and closeness.it speaks of volumes in regard to experience, it has flow of river and rhythms like melody

Re: Over the years (Score: 1) by jadia4708au on Saturday, October 12,2013 (20: 56: 03) Grammar and Flow Robynn Mussell50 minutes ago Your poem, though wonderful in itself, is marred by the lack of punctuation and simple articles like a and the. There is also discontinuity with the 'beat' of the lines in each stanza. Without a way to make the syllables match, or are off by one or two (either more or less) , your poem seems to came apart and feel 'almost' broken. Take a look at some of Shakespeare's sonnets for an example of what I am explaining. Your rhyming is different, but it works here very well. Comment 1 Comment0 Hasmukh Mehta Less than a minute ago it is rarity in itself. you take amy stanza away.no where you will find such combination, you enjoy the theme and closeness.it speaks of volumes in regard to experience, it has flow of river and rhythms like melody

Grammar and Flow Robynn Mussell50 minutes ago Your poem, though wonderful in itself, is marred by the lack of punctuation and simple articles like a and the. There is also discontinuity with the 'beat' of the lines in each stanza. Without a way to make the syllables match, or are off by one or two (either more or less) , your poem seems to came apart and feel 'almost' broken. Take a look at some of Shakespeare's sonnets for an example of what I am explaining. Your rhyming is different, but it works here very well. Comment 1 Comment0 Hasmukh MehtaLess than a minute ago it is rarity in itself. you take amy stanza away.no wehre you will find such combination, you enjoy the theme and clsoeness.it speaks of volumes in regard to experience, it has flow of river and rhythms like melody

transformation Donka Krsteva48 minutes ago good; needs a little work (ex. last line) Comment 1 Comment0 Hasmukh MehtaLess than a minute ago wishing happiness for all tho who are around... as jealousy pushed away

Representative and true Tristan Miller4 minutes ago This is honestly how most boys walk the earth. Comment +1 ok

aspiration Achieved 5 minutes ago ok

Over the years I learnt How to bow or bend