Our Passion Comments

Vaughn, I have read many of your poems and explored your town Empangeni on the net.This poem pleased me most of all. It has depth, beauty and love.The language of the poem is worthy of the subject and the imagery is rich from start to finish.From my own experience of the use of rhyme I have found that it can be a trap, taking from the true expression of feeling.This poem of yours stands out from the others for its natural flow. You dont need rhyme all the time and if you do use it try internal rhyme here and there. It's more subtle that way.10. Matt.

I liked the lines: The passion inside that we do stoke, Is as wild as a fire in the forest that broke. And: Like wild horses running on the beach, Deeper into each other's we reach. And: Our bodies together with every stroke, Telling a story as if they spoke. Oh My God! That was so sensual! Its the first one that I read here on PoemHunter. I really enjoyed reading it and personally I wouldn't change a thing. Its perfect. Have a nice day. B.B.