Our Favourite Song Comments

Do you consider yourself to be a poet? On this evidence I hope not. Are you proud of this poem? I doubt it. It is full of cliché, the repetition fails to do anything but irritate, and what could have been said in no more than 6 lines has unfortunately been stretched out into much more than ever needed. Poetry like this is far to obvious it does not work the reader, and once read it is instantly forgettable. This sort of thing has been wrote about some 20million times before, mostly in the back of a teenages school journal, if you are to write about mush like this (which to be far I too indulge in this type of mush) it must be done with an edge, something different, not in your face, instant pop song sort of poem. But it's my heart it hurts more everyday. Out of everything and everyone it misses you the most. The above is a fine example of the pop song sort of lyric, think of Brittany spears and you will know what I mean, this is far to clichéd and mushy. If this poem is factual please do not thing I am playing down your loss, this poem is not an attack on you as a person, and I offer my sympathies if this is about a loved one. I suppose my point is, if you are serious about writing, and are trying to work on your craft, then this requires much work, however if this poem is just a way for you to cope with the loss, as in a cathartic sense, then ignore my rant, and keep strong. Word slave

Astonishing written composition.........well formed in a V pattern..nice phrasing too...10+++++++