Wednesday, September 30, 2020

Old Man In The Park Comments

Rating: 4.0

She noticed the old man in the park…she saw him ever day
He's always there at the same time she brings her child to the park to play.

Today she sat down next to him as she watched her child play
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COMMENTS
Bri Edwards 04 October 2020

line 6 " at wrong end of sentence ;) i like that you didn't 'have to' stick to same # of lines in each stanza. At end of st.10, i correctly foresaw the ending of st.11. Very nice, as is all so far. I love the rhyming. The slightest bit of 'emotion' passed through me at the last words. to MyPoemList, probably to share later. bri :) I wonder what inspired this poem. hmmm.

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