words discovered may
be...laboured over refined
and sculpted in vain
...
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Marvelous poem. The title attracted me......and the words penetrate deep. The thinkers, the silent dreamers and the doers.....life chooses to blossom in us in every possible way....it a pleasure to read your poems.
What could I do? ? ? ? With a title like that playing games with Steinbeck's book title and Scottish poet Robert Burns's poem, I had to read this! ! ! ! You have a knack for creating the perfect titles for your poems that grab the reader. And your poem then stands up to the billing! ! ! . I have commented on this before but I just had to comment on your T.A. [Title Ability] 10+++++++++++++++++++++++ again! ! ! !
Susan, thank you so much. I've find that at times getting the title right is the hardest part.
Some did the thinking Others stood out as the strong silent types dreaming...intensive expression. I love these lines. Beautiful poem shared. Thanks for sharing.
Labored, over refined and sculpted in vain. What great lines, so succinct and yet so rich also an excellent reminder to this poet how one can stifle a poem by overworking it.I read this poem many times and enjoyed it more each time. The last 3 lines opened a space inside. I love the image of the strong silent types dreaming.I got lost in that manly mysterious vision, it conjured up all kinds of pictures in my head.A short and very satisfying poem, skillfully penned, full marks ML
Thank you so much, Norah. I've been reading your work and have been very impressed and amazed. I'll be visiting your page frequently.
Sometimes we labour for words and become very choosy rewriting and editing, but they may not always produce the desired effect. Some words may make the reader ponder, some may coherently bind the thoughts together and yet some words create a dreamy effect.... This is how I see it! As ever, brevity with depth is your hall mark!
Thank you so much, Valsa! Yes....I've sought and chased just the right word or words for each of the reasons you mention. Thanks again.
dear, each line is wonderful to me. something extra and something lacked. I think this is your first poem that I read. in its style to me this may be a composition of a few poems or.. many or more than many depends on Silence :)
Thank you so much, Muhammad. And thanks for noticing the differences, or perhaps subtleties. Indeed, the first stanza is meant to be about the work of the writer. The second may be about the effect on the reader....Thanks again.
Love it... The first stanza captures how frustrating a poem can be to deliver the expression. Words that will not sit happily together or are lost in translation. The second stanza I relate to those words written that give impressions of left versus right brain thinking.10+
Thank you so much, Simone. And yes, that frustration. You said it perfectly. I'm experiencing some now as I go back to revising a few pieces. Thanks again.
I had to run off and chase down a definition of tercet so I could try this form. Tercet: A poetic unit of three lines, rhymed or unrhymed. Can rhymes AAA BBB; or AAA; or just whatever pleases your heart! I'm game. Now this tercet here is an intellectual poem about writing [ or thinking if you ask me ] That first stanza is a warning I have so often found true- - - - - - - - laboured over refined and sculpted in vain- - - - - - - - - - -Yes, indeed, sometimes working that poem over cripples its wings But I must admit the last three lines stole my emotional heart: .Some did the thinking Others stood out as the strong silent types dreaming - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -oh dear, I have this thing about the strong silent cowboy kind of man so I think my mind wandered off and started imagining what that cowboy could be dreaming about...I think I wandered really really far away from the intellectual meaning pf those three lines and now I' get the worst reader ever award... be that as it may, I enjoyed this poem and I enjoyed the images awoken by such words as labored and sculpted and strong silent types [of words, Susan, of words] and dreaming. Absolutely perfect and deserving a field of starred 10's.
Thank you so much, Susan! Yes, the tercet is great....three lines, or stanzas, as many as you want or need, that contain three lines. And it is so great to hear that your mind wandered off. That was partially (I hope) due to my intent. Each of the stanzas are readily decoded in one of two ways. The first- ys, you hit on the first interpretation that came to mind. It is about how writers can labour over words or thought. There can 'be labour.' On the other hand, the hack may belabour (that's the '...') The second stanza could be about the effects the words have on the reader, the audience. On the other hand, it is possible to see the second stanza to represent a remark about writers' block.....sometimes we think a lot, and fall back on silence. There may be many words, but they carry no messages or thoughts....Thanks again. And thanks for that magnificent field......
M.J., this is truly a masterpiece from a brilliant poet. To be able to take two different styles and seamlessly meld them into one is a stroke of genius. The first stanza is very philosophical. It really made me think. And then you brilliantly move into such vivid imagery in the second stanza. I don't know if it was your intention, but I instantly visualized Hell On Wheels. In fact, as I'm writing this, that image is still in my mind. To keep an image steadfast in the mind of the reader is truly an art form. You are a master of the word, and the image. I love the poem. Thank you for having given me the honor of inspiring your work. Congratulations on putting it all together in such a profound way.
Richard, Thank you so very much. I was going for something like Hell on Wheels and was hoping something like that would be part of the imagery, the landscape. After the second to last draft, I actually had The Wild Bunch in mind. Thanks so much for the inspiration. As far this work goes, I literally could not have done it without you. Mj
M.J., I'll have to revisit The Wild Bunch. Really like that movie and Sam Peckinpah. And how can you go wrong with William Holden. M.J., I'm very honoured that my poem, Growing Old Into Youth had inspired you to such an extent. Thanks again for your profound work.
And thank you agaun, Richard. Thanks for so much inspiration and depth of spirit. I today did think of Hell On Wheels.
Susan is not alone. Even I was more taken towards many hues of life that grow in us. I guess it is my emotions that read first stanza as poetic efficiency but raced to life in other. Excellent poem in whatever way I read.
Thank you so much, Savita. I understand the multiple readings. Before I finally finished this verse, I had experimented with flipping the order of the stanzas. It took a while to settle on this draft.