Nostalgia Poem by Emma Jane Rae

I hate this sadness,
I wish I didn't feel like this,
I wish you'd have loved me more,
Than drugs and being on the p*ss,
I thought that we were perfect,
I thought we were set for life,
I was excited for you to be my husband,
I was desperate to be your wife,
I wanted to give you everything,
That I possibly had to give,
But this heartache I just carry around,
I'm not sure how to really live,
I feel guilty for having fun,
Each and every time I laugh,
Then it hits me like a blade,
And cuts my heart in half,
I wonder if you ever think of me,
Coz your constantly on my mind,
But I have to find a way through,
Unfortunately we can't press rewind,
To a time when you weren't so stupid,
Or so damn naive,
If I could have changed the ending,
I never would have let you leave.