Nobody Told Me. Poem by Blessing Kalamatila

[Blessing]:
We could be wrong for inditing this poem,
for reciting our innermost thoughts as we endeavor to find the balance between what society deems right and wrong.

See! as we grow, Life has this tendency of placing us on different paths;
like parallel lines.

Both]: Nobody told me.

but what if I told you that all it took to make it was a focus,
I mean success is subjective but Hey!
they made it seem like having a degree is the only way to go but please don't get me wrong,
education is key;
but you see my question is what happens when the door to your dreams remains closed simply because you have to wear a uniform and not your favorite clothes?


[Both]: Nobody told me

[Alpha]:
That the demons I feared as a child under my bed would in the end reside within my head.
That my innocent desire to always please my father could turn into crippling insecurities and a burden too heavy to carry.
Nobody told me,
about the times just being alive could hurt.
That the fight is first and foremost mental.
that these cobwebs of the mind could chain potential.

Nobody told me the right words can morph internet search bars into portals of darkness;
blinding vision and encouraging one to leave life recklessly.
That too much air could leave me breathless.

Nobody told me that suicide could sing lullabies,
I wish somebody had told me how to tell she was telling lies.

[blessing]:
Nobody told me the truth.
see they would look me dead in the eye and tell me everything is fine,
and so I took the wrong turns and ignored the warning signs.

Nobody told me that with my skill set, I could start my business, therefore,
from my current job, I would gladly resign.
So now I sit back and wish undone how I spent those early days of my youth taking the wrong advice because nobody told me that the future was mine to define.

[Alpha]:
Nobody told me what to do when I forget the reason for living.
where to go when you remember
and it isn't convincing.
Nobody told me value and worth are inherent.
that it is up to you how much you make apparent.
see nobody's words should define you;
not even your parent.

I wish someone had told me how double standards turn hearts into battlegrounds for good and evil,
and what to do when evil is winning.
I wish somebody had told me the opposite of pain is peace and not pleasure.

[blessing]:
sometimes the pressure is all we need to keep us going,
but you see nobody told me that lack of humility was one thing that kept me from growing;
I mean far too long I let pride lead in direction,
that way I thought I could win
but a gaze in the mirror was all it took to see that my reflection was carrying one of the most deadly sins.

Everybody told me time heals
but nobody told me that one grieves the past, present, and future of what could've been with that dearly departed person.
Listen! when I witnessed my Father;
a man I always looked up to go 6 feet down in the dirt,
I realized it will take a lifetime to let go of some of this Hurt.

[Alpha]:
Nobody told me about how I could be a prodigal son;
safe in my father's house but still find myself craving the cold famine-infested country I fled.
That I would find myself yearning for the smell of the filth from the pigs I fed.

That even while in my father's embrace, my mind would still house the pedestals I put women on.
And my heart; the altar I built for their beauty and approval.
So, Nobody told me how to wash away the ghosts of the women whose worth I have buried in the shallow graves of my palms.
I wish someone had told me that my worth is not tied to how many people I mesmerize
or how many women I get to hear moan my name.

[Blessing]:

To me, these girls were all the same,
once upon a time, I was ok with getting away with wife privileges but my mission was never to let any of them get my last name.
The game taught me that given the right opportunity;
she would always end up entertaining Her other options
so I played mine by detaching every bit of my emotions,
All thanks to this one girl who broke my heart and in turn I broke one too many.
When I look back,
I find it funny how most knew about the first cut being the deepest
- but nobody told me that to love and let go sometimes meant the same thing.

[Alpha]:

Nobody told me. How hard letting go would be when loving her felt like the thing you've ever done right.
About how I would yearn for her approval almost as much as I earned for my father's.
Nobody told me how well-acquainted I would get with unrequited love.
I wish I had known, maybe I would have not made your interest the cradle to nurse my worth and your body, a grave to bury my insecurities.

[Blessing]:

Nobody told me it's ok for a guy to have some insecurities,
Instead, we were told to grow numb to pain from men who only knew how to survive but maturity brought to light the need to accept who we are to the core and re-align ourselves with purpose.

Nobody told me that with my uniqueness, I can command respect
that my words can resurrect certain thoughts you once put to rest or you may fail to stomach them as I give you this cold truth; making it hard to digest.
That I can live my life with no regrets,
a peace of mind I have to protect
and come to a place where I no longer have to pretend
cuz nobody told me,
That being an alpha had more to do with a mindset and less with what we choose to project.

[Alpha]:

Nobody told me
What to do when you pray for bigger stages and that answered prayer begins to feel like it's just a bigger stage to fail on.
When you are finally crowned King but you're now afraid to fumble the crown.
How even Blessings come with their burdens.
Even those victorious in war must count their dead and tend to their wounded.
What do you do When the imposter syndrome wears so heavy, you can barely keep your vision steady?

I'm learning not to worry about who is sleeping on me, cause God wrote alarm clocks onto my tongue, when the time comes my testimony will echo his greatness.
God's time has no snooze button.
I got a paradigm shift,
There's only one me, only one I,
I got the giant vision,
Your boy has cyclops vibes.
God's spoken word birthed purpose,
There's Rhema in the DNA of my destiny.
May these airwaves announce how Alpha only gets beta,
Check the data, the Lord choose us.