My Vision Comments

Part of me feels unworthy of writing about your harrowing poem because I live protected and secure inside the U. S. borders. I can only say your passion for justice and hope for children to live in peace have touched me deeply and I share both sentiments. Your poem vividly evokes a world torn to shreds in violence that becomes almost unbearable; these words have will haunt me for days. One line that cut me deeply was THE NEW GENERATION IN HOSPITALS LIES. But the closing stanza is a wonderful gift of consolation! Its beauty is overwhelming!

Part of me feels unworthy of writing about your harrowing poem because I live protected and secure inside the U. S. borders. I can only say your passion for justice and hope for children to live in peace have touched me deeply and I share both sentiments. Your poem vividly evokes a world torn to shreds in violence that becomes almost unbearable; these words have will haunt me for days. One line that cut me deeply was THE NEW GENERATION IN HOSPITALS LIES. But the closing stanza is a wonderful gift of consolation! Its beauty is overwhelming!

This is a powerful poem. There is even more war, and death, in the world today than there was just a year ago when you wrote this. There is evil on all sides in war, I have written several poems on it. I like your last stanza, and hope that someday it comes true. Unfortunately, as long as people mistrust and hate people who are different than themselves, there will always be war. Darla :)

A powerful write with great emotional intensity.

In the heart of dark, laying awake at night; .....i often offer tips (helpful, i hope, criticism) to other poets about their poems, especially to poets for which english is not their first language. i would guess it is not your first language. tell me if i'm wrong! in this line you use laying where an english teacher would say use lying.....or at least english teachers i had years ago would say that. it is a very common mistake, and i wouldn't be surprised if half the people in the u.s. make the mistake. i doubt i've ever heard the word cecity before, and this computer underlines it in red. but i looked it up and see it means blindness. and it comes from french. no wonder you know it! there are numerous other parts of the poem which are not 'technically correct' for me, BUT i basically understand it and applaud the writing, especially your wonderful vision. i am not religious, but in a non-religious way i feel blessed to be an american, living in america, where NOT all people get the advantages that i have received, but where most or all of us are better off than MANY in the 'arab world' and elsewhere. what does the part about the 'white knight' mean? ? i especially enjoy to mention of birds and the overall tone and words of the last stanza. thanks for sharing. :) bri

This poem has very well written imagery. Bien!

Good one. Felt..............I invite you to read my poems too.

this is my vision, good write, thanks. I invite you to read my poems and comment.