My Strategy For Telemarketers Poem by Kim Barney

When I get a call on my cell phone
from a number with which I am not familiar,
I do not say 'Hello.'

Instead, I speak in a voice as monotone
as possible, as if I were a computer,
and I say:

'You have reached a number that does not accept solicitations.
If you are a solicitor, please add this number to your Do Not Call
list, and hang up now. Otherwise, if you are not a computer, but a real human, please prove it by singing any song by Willie Nelson or George Strait.'



I seldom have to say the entire thing before they hang up.
Usually, I don't get past the word 'Otherwise', but last night
I did get all the way through. There was a pause, and then a man started singing 'On the road again...'