Friday, September 3, 2010

My Passion Has Risen Beyond My Mind Comments

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My passion has risen
beyond my mind:
My body has ruled
my high spirit, My loving heart
...
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Abekah Emmanuel
COMMENTS
Kay Staley 16 September 2014

Not bad but not that great. The format is good and the structure and way its looks is good enough, but the language needs to have a little more emotion. It either needs to be completely vague or completely clear, and the way it is written makes it sound like both of them and neither of them at the same time.

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Abekah Emmanuel

Abekah Emmanuel

Ghana, Eastern Region,
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