My Life Poem by Britney Garlich

Where is my life going? And what’s my last, next, or only move?
No matter what’s left to accomplish, you will still believe I have nothing to prove.

You claim your actions are ones of emotion, yet the truth you should have spared.
How can anonymous letters say how you feel? That sorry attempt didn’t mean that you cared.

I guess I didn’t get the ‘memo’ we were children, and I’m sorry for what not hearing what you never said.
The childish letters tied with your always low standards only made my personality seem only more dead.

While playing the sadness card, you set my standard bar so extremely low.
I wish you could see how lucky you had it, I don’t think you will ever know.

I’m not a horrible person. I’ve made many correct decisions, deserving of your credit.
I listen to all you say, but my independent life was one you taught me and then chose to edit.

Every night I come home guessing like a lottery, what’s the mood of the night?
I drove around for hours of my teen life, searching for clarity and often just out of fright.

I act strong because I have to, that’s how I have made it this far.
The stress is from you: not work, school, drugs, or a night at the bar.

Things could be much worse, but you’re blinded to only see what you want to see.
Maybe this is what you were waiting for, or simply expected out of me.

You call me disgraceful things and my kind gestures seem to go my opposite way.
I gave you a serious picture and you probably wont, but I’ll always remember what you had to say.

Comment on my insulting life, but don’t cut me down for my appearance.
You gave up countless times, at least from my known as ‘faulty, ’ remembrance.

I can recall events from when I was four, how messed am I?
You say all you see is my stress and instead of letting it ruin me, day to day I try.

If you had nice things to say, then you would know all of this about me,
But you choose to hold it in and tell everyone else, in hope someday the hint I’ll see.

Well I am sick of letting people down and I refuse to play any more of your games.
When you’re ready to listen and open your mind I will still forgive your hateful claims.

My dreams were thrown out as a result. Do you realize what the power of words can do?
I know I shaped my own life, but part of my low self-esteem I contribute to you.

Apparently I hurt you and for that I am always live with my own regrets.
But how can you blame me when all you talk about is how my life is one big upset?

If I talk to you, I will cry. And that I am not strong enough to do.
But this is the way you made it, my anger again, comes only from you.

Sure we all change. I grew up and lost some healthy weight, expecting pride.
Maybe it’s just your pills and alcohol that led to the day our relationship died.

You say you don’t know me and you still offer no positive advice.
You may not know me, but that is not my fault, I attempted once or twice.

You say I’m too strung out, yet continue to criticize.
Maybe I am not doing perfect, but with every put down another part of me dies.

Lets pretend the glass is half full and be happy for just one day?
The good lord knows I’m not content with all of my choices, but I deal with that in my own way.

You make me scared to talk to you, for I’ll only feel guilt, sadness, and shame.
I’m not sure you always know how far you take it, sometimes it really seems more like one big game.

I will forever love you with all of my heart and that I was sure you knew…
But your thoughtless actions hid nothing- they only reminded me of what not to do.

I am not sad because I have all of our memories and I think about them everyday.
You will always be my parents, but you’re mistaking growing up for going a separate way.

It’s too painful to see you upset and I feel that forces my closeness to push away.
But you’re the ones who should know better. Often times I don’t even know what there is for me to say.

All comments lately are cuts, which of course wont drive me more towards home.
Then I’m supposed to feel sorry for you, when I’m the one whose learned to live and feel alone.


Really what breaks my heart, is being afraid to care anymore. I don’t want to watch you cry.
Lately that’s all it ever comes to with every bad thing you comment on, I’m just trying to figure out why?

I avoid home because I am scared and I don’t believe I can do this anymore, I cant handle it all.
Why cant we put things aside, because in the end, at home is where I want to be happy living a better life after all.