As I lay there motionless
sinking into my bed,
I think of all the things
I wish I would have said.
...
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I'm impressed that you've managed to use a rhyme scheme without sounding childish or whimsical. This poem is easier to swallow I think because of it. The rhyme scheme keeps the poem from being too heavy.
What a poem! like i will always say 'it transcend an ordinary brain to do this' you're good, i felt it as well. I love all the rhymes.