i feel it is near
time to take my own life
i still have some fear
will it be a cut from a knife
...
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This is very sad, but still so beautiful I want to clap after I read it. Everyone has those moments when they think life is harder than death, but I'm glad you can see that it's a permanent solution to a temperary problem. Someone in my town just committed suicide a few days ago, and it's just a reminder of our choice to reject that option every day.
There is always light at the end of the tunnel. Time heals all wounds. Besides, you were put on this earth for a reason. Don't cheat yourself... You may think you know what that reason is now, but as time goes on, that idea becomes very, very clear. Hope you can work things out.