My Death Comments

Again, here are some mistakes in using English that makes sense. 'My body and my soul floats...' If you use body and soul, then the verb would be float...without the 's.' I have no idea what the word Severally is doing in that line. Nor do I understand why it is a capital letter. In the midst of all this heavy-duty dying, you say, 'Pretty hectic, I'm in my routine, no time to be bothered with myself.' Where on earth did that line come from? This is such a serious poem that those two lines jarred me. Remember that this is just my opinion, but I think if you re-read this with a critical eye and work on it a bit, you will see what I mean. Raynette