Moonlight And Fireflies Comments

Of my muse in moonlight. Nice work.

i love the line i have lost my eyelids as it were i know the feeling of not knowing if your eyes are open or not. the poet must tell us about our special moments - what we do or do not do. true?

very nice. as you might know i like nature poetry. i once described it as my church. lovely analogies, i agree with the others who said that. my grandmother once said not to say the word nice. everything should be magnificent or nothing at all. hmmmm.... well nice is a beginning and legitimate. grandmother or not, i disagree to an extent. i like plain talk in poetry. it is philosophy also, so it should be understandable although more descriptive than some prose perhaps. although i practice inserting my poetry into my prose. makes it easier to write. nice title also...

This is indeed a remarkable write! Memories flitting like fireflies..... the very comparison is beautiful! The poem starts with an impressive opening, keeps the tempo throughout and ends in a striking way! Enjoyed it altogether!

It was for just a second, the moonrays crawling in, but in that second I saw a glimplse of a shadow on the wall, a shadow of my Muse standing right there somewhere in the dark room... wishes, disappointments. again wishes, desires waiting for the Muse in moonlight. excellent my dear poet. thank you. tony

I have read the comments by the esteemed poets below and your responses, so in that regard many things have already been addressed. I will just add my admiration for your style and feeling. This is a remarkably well conceived poem and thoroughly enjoyable to read. You definitely have a talent for writing and I intend to read more of your work. Keep writing, young man. Peace

Thank you Fabrizio.. Let me defend a few things apart from the 'typos', I guess it has now become a trademark of my poetry: p I used 'somewhere in the room' to suggest that I have still not much of a clue abour where she is, although I can see her shadow on the wall.. Although, everyone knows light travels straight, so she should be right in front of the window, but the speaker in this poem has somehow still not regained his consciousness enough to actually understand that - his perception is still unclear... And I again began the final stanza with 'I see fireflies' to suggest that the speaker has not been able to recover from his 'reverie' as it were of his haunting memories.. The sight of the Muse was just a moment of 'clarity', but by the end of it he has once again gone back seeing the 'fireflies' - - this poem was composed only when the speaker was somehow able to come out of that 'reverie', those haunting 'memories', but in the end, he will see the fireflies all the time, and the Muse only once in a while... And I would like to defend my use of 'moonrays' in lieu of 'moonlight'.. The use of 'light' is suggestive of the fact that the speaker's life had been so dark that even the 'moonlight' felt so strong as 'sunrays'... And finally, this poem is for you Fabrizio and Daniel, 'il miglior fabbro' - - the better craftsmans and my guides, to whom I look up to :)

do you know “The Muse” by Anna Akhmatova?

a good poem, Souren, but I'd like you to think about the following points: 1. 'verbs': you shift from present to past.. it'd be ok, but sometimes it happens without a real reason.. 2. '' It was jor just a second '' - Typo (FOR) 3. '' a shadow of my Muse standing right there somewhere in the dark room... '': - - I would erase 'somewhere', as '§' you glimpsed her shadow on the wall.. '§' your room is not a large 'hall', isn't it? .. and '§' the only light comes from the moon outside.. then she had to stand in front of the window.. ;) - - Then: 'there' or 'here'? 4. ''I see fireflies, I am too preoccupied with a memory of a love that did not work out, that I never saw the shadow of my Muse in moonlight.'' - - I would erase the first line. Then I would simply say ''I was [..] / that I couldn't see my Muse in moonlight..''

I see fire flies I am too preoccupied with a memory of a love that did not work out that I never saw the shadow of my Muse in moon light- - Yes , some times we are too preoccupied with fireflies and can not see the truth.Stunningly beautiful write.

Wonderful shadow of muse in moonlight speaks about wise sharing. Interesting poem shared here...10