Mobile Bay 1964 Comments

This is a picturesque poem. You did a nice job of evoking the universal sense of being on a boat with the details specific to a particular experience. You put me in there and you used a word I was told should NEVER exist in a poem...eternity. However, in this instance, I think it worked quite well...and to be honest, I never had an issue with that word myself. I just listened to a poem that was all about how she hated that word, so I was amused to see it here. Kidding aside, this is what I would call a 'pretty' poem as it evokes the setting so well, with choice words that have a beautiful flow. I also liked the action presented in the second to last stanza...sort of a jolt from the reverie of the words. Nicely done.