Mixed Messages Poem by Grant House

Moving into my day
Driven by what's next
Completing promises
Fulfilling who I think I am
For others
Reading your note
Thinking it over
Feeling like a mixed message
Not quite able to stitch
Those leisure-like moments
Those out-of-time passionate embraces
The hot raw in your mouth kisses
Pressing together
Hair pulled back
Fingers stroking skin
Nails dug in
Legs entwined
Body to body
Soul to soul transmissions
Exhilarating highly charged
Neuron to neuron
Synaptic bolts of lightning flash
Rolling thunder energy
No, I am not quite able
To stitch these
Together into something
One might want to wear
Like clothes on a daily basis
It is possible to close one's eyes
Let go of the everyday pulse
Find some peace
Some calm
It takes forgetting
Un-knowing
Denial
Walking forward
Into the rush
The quiet unknown
Waits behind
Up on the shelf
With the rarely worn hats
It comes to me to say
I may not be cut out for this
My crazy life packed too tight
To squeeze in real love
By design or chance
From fear or opportunity
Joining forces
Becoming one
Sharing lives
Union
Walk slower, lagging
Losing ground
Receding into memories
Of what could have been
You are right to say
When a man loves a woman
Continents part
New constellations confound astrologers
Seasons change places
A woman's love
The source of all life
Deserves respect
Not half hearted allegiance
Last minute impromptu calls
Long days without a word
Silence.
Someday my heart will open
Right now it's hiding inside the swirl
The everyday fear
That who I am is insufficient
To provide for myself
Let alone a love beyond romance
Rain drops to rivers
Seas to clouds
And rain again
God's cycle
Always new and very old
I am a mixed message
Rain drops
Never hitting the ground
Blown back into clouds
A lost cause of sorts
At least in love
Please go on ahead
Let your love light
Shine on someone else
You are a gift
A blessing to the world
Uniquely, courageously
Yourself
A force of nature
A storm brewing
And one deserving
Love after love
Pure focus of one's whole attention
Someone given over
In service to who you are
Unreserved
Unqualified
Pure, dedicated, yours alone.
That radiant sun lit auburn hair and smile
That strong dynamic yet vulnerable
You
Deserves true love
Unwavering love
Certain unqualified nothing held back love
Pure, real, grounded
And yes,
Out of this world love
A different kind of mixed message
If I were you
I would hold out for nothing less
I would hand me my hat
And send me on my way