Millie Poem by Richard D Remler

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Today wasn't fun.
Today wasn't fair.
Today was the day
Millie cut off my hair
With the scissors that Mom
Keeps up high on that shelf,
So Millie can't be
Her own
Evilish self.

But Millie climbed up
On a big kitchen chair,
Snagged Momma's scissors
And cut off my hair.
And she snickered with
Some sort of evilish glee
As she snip snip snip snapped
Those old scissors at me.

Today wasn't fair,
And today wasn't fun.
Today was the day
Millie scared every one
Of Dewey O'Hillicker's
Rabbits away,
While he was putting them all
Safely back in their stall.
Now they're running about
Through the pink chamomile,
Flitting in and out
Of the Dwarf Glockenspiel.
They're breaking through fences
And zigzagging down
All the rickety roadbeds
Of our little town.
They're barking and yacking
All Jeckyll and Hyde,
And keeping the terrified
Neighbors inside.
And O'Hillicker's furious!
He's mad as a bat.
And I've never seen anyone
Madder than that.

Nah, today wasn't fun.
Today wasn't right.
Today wasn't good,
Not by a blamed sight!
Today was the day
Millie painted the dog,
And let it run off
Through the rain
And the fog.
Today was the day
Millie took a coat wire
And put a hole in
Jamie's bicycle tire.
Today was the day
Millie stole Wilbur's glasses
And hid 'em deep in
That new jar of molasses.
Today was the day
Millie took Grandpa's hat
And stomped down upon it
Until it was flat!
And tossed what was left
At the calico cat.


Today wasn't clever,
And not a bit fun.
Oh, I've known fun days,
And today wasn't one.
Today was the day
Millie flooded the Loo,
Then she put a new tack
Inside everyone's shoe.
She cut down Grandma June's
Favorite flower,
Then she set all the clocks
In the house back an hour.
Then she pinched Susan Washbourne,
And ol' Willard Flea.
She pinched the cat's whiskers,
And Jermima's left knee.
She pinched Bernie's right ear
Just as mean as can be.
Then she pinched Winnie's cheek,
And then she pinched me.

She pinched Ellie's eyebrow,
And Uncle Bee's dog.
She pinched Edwin's ear lobe
And then pinched the hog.
She pinched Aunt Binn's finger,
And then Grandma's toe.
And that was a far
As ol' Millie could go ~
Because Gran pinched her back
And sent her to her room.
And you should'a seen Millie
All frattle and fume.
And she'll be fuming 'til
Momma steps in through that door,
And discovers just what
Millie's screaming was for.

And sometime tomorrow,
Before the noon bell,
When everything going
Is going right swell,
There'll be Millie,
Our mischievous elf,
Still being her own little
Evilish self.



Copyright © MMXV Richard D. Remler


**A Children's Tale**