Melancholy State Comments

David, of your poems I've read, I think this has the most depth. Have you considered trying free verse? I've noticed that your rhymes often get in your way of a successful poem. (just a suggestion) I think the repetition of the first line is successful in this poem. I have often been criticized for doing that, but I like the way it makes a poem more musical. Good luck. Raynette

Another great write. Written with every ounce of your emotions. Highly readable, and as Justine so rightly puts it, many of us will relate to this poem. May the sun shine for you, David. Love, Fran xx

You have eloquently conveyed the 'melancholy state' that many will relate to - just like the sun emerging in the sky, light will return again bringing with it warmth and smiles... Justine

flowing expression of thoughts - light will shine once again!