! Love's Young... Comments

Great observations, I do it myself when alone and eating. It helps pass the time, no need to evesdrop, peoples body language tells the tale. Great write. Bob

Excellent poem, Michael. You made it so real, I felt like an intruder, guilty for spying on her misery. Again, excellent. Hugs, CJ

Well, I'd say it is your poem and your form and your prose, which I really liked. If you want to take 'X' words to say it, I'll read everyone and I thought is was great. You really captured the sceen and I think it's great to experiment with form. That is how a poet grows also. Well done. Thank you.

Well done Michael, and the Quotation from Hamlet's address to Ophelia fits perfectly.

Thanks for your comments. I actually like the piece as is, and had only one mild subjective criticism but you sure focused on that. Thanks for recovering from your initial reaction. Some people want to hear only positive comments, while others are working at becoming better poets and are looking for constructive criticism (not that my comments are always constructive) . I had put you in the category of someone interested in hearing critical comments. That was presumptuous on my part. Anyway, I acknowledge that my comments are completely subjective and that I have no qualifications other than that I love poetry and read a lot of it. One other thing: I think it's extremely healthy to let yourself be influenced by other poets, and if you're influenced by Joyce Lazarus, you've picked a winner.

Now my ego's recovered from your impertinence, P/H....: you have a valid point there about poetic compression. If this were a fictional set-up or an edited one, I would certainly look to 'tidy it up' and generally shape it. But, inspired by Joyce Lazarus' recent posting, I'm trying to write what I call 'real-time' verse. It may be nearer reportage or the short story; but it may have its own virtues. The agenda is: keep the sequence of events; tell it how it was, in (their) outer truth and (your) inner truth; and maybe its truth will communicate more, in subtle ways, than the most careful poetic diction. Of course, whether it succeeds or not is entirely up to you, the reader. Point taken. Thanks. As we always say (and sometimes mean) - better a critical response than no response!

Oh you're so right, P/H. How about this? : A lovers' tiff. So what's new?

I like your choice of people (couples) to observe and write about. I also like the sentiments and ending. My only pause is that I think the observations and sentiments could have been conveyed in about half the space. Otherwise, very nice.

Beautiful work, Michael. I love your free-verse style. It's nice to read your work, my friend.