Love Lost, Found & Lost Again Poem by Lisa AT

I'll tell you that you were the first boy I ever loved.
You were the one who took my heart all those years ago and locked it inside of yours.
You placed my fingers in between each of yours.
But in the end,
you took that heart, and you shattered it into a million pieces.
You could have just ripped it in half.
Then it would be easier to put back together.
Instead, you tore it.
Piece by piece.
And it can't be fixed this time.
The hardest thing I'll ever do
is let go of you.
And look forward instead of back.
How many times can a heart crack before it shatters?
Or does it even matter?
I've sat and cried over you way too much, always yearning for your gentle touch.
So many times we've said that we would try.
Just to turn around and make each other cry.
Things have been said that you can't undo;
Even though you said I was everything to you.... it cant be true.
You call me names and act like you don't care.
All the while, my love for you was always there.
You always say you never meant to hurt me, or cause me any pain.
But you continue to do it time and time again
We always have these tears to cry,
and are left with all these wondering questions of why?
Why can't you get past your past?
Don't you want to become whole at last?
Why couldn't you at least try to believe me, instead of pushing me further away?
You still look at me the same way.
With those eyes of blue searching for the answers inside me.
You want to know everything.
You want to know how I feel
And if I am truly hurting inside.
My dream of 'US' is not coming true.
All I feel is sad and blue.
I feel like a boomerang; you throw me, but not only that.
Every time you throw me, I always seem to come back.
Back to you, praying things will be better but its always back to pain.
Nothing ever changes, you're always still the same and it breaks me again and again.
I accept your apology, but I can't move forward with you this time. I can't keep allowing myself to be hurt and knocked down. I'm trying to build myself up and heal from the past and can't have anymore trauma in my future.
I will always love you, but sadly I've realised there are some things that just can't be fixed no matter how much I want it to.
The End 💔