Lost Marbles (A Coffee Shop Tragedy) Comments

I enjoy this poem a lot. But I really wish I knew what you told the man......I can guess though. The marble metaphor is genius by the way. Great write.

Honesty often exacts a high price. That marble will never find a place to fall still.

Love the simile and the pacing in this. Tight! -chuck

Wowwwww: you tell us just enough to get us hooked & leave us hanging to fill in the details in our imaginations - a mark of excellent writing. Thank you.

OhhhhoHhhhh...oooooo....what did she tell him? ? ? Don't leave me in suspense.... Hugs, Dee

a full circle of life exists perhaps in a moment long struggle of saying it or lettin’ go Awesome Chris- v beautiful meandering expression Together forever in Caffeine! ! ! !

This holds my attention and I vascillate between liking it and not liking it...like a marble going back and forth. :) Very interesting image. Raynette

I have to agree with Magda. The marble metaphor is brilliant - as is your final line, which leaves the reader wishing for more, and yet thoroughly satisfied. A stylish slice of life. love, Allie ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

That marble is such a perfect image, really gripping.

Awesome writing...metaphor and reality...personal and timeless...by the way...never tell...Coach

oh wow....what an excellent poem. The tension reallllly builds in this one. For any of us that have been on either side of this convo (ive been on both) we can clearly relate. Excellent job, your very very good!

Is it better............to live a lie....in silence, or the truth......in chaos?

It wouldn't seem a true tragedy, if not for that marble which gives a feeling of cool. An all interior tragedy.

what a smooth flow this poem has and like a marble rolled on...Really liked it...

'A marble on a table with uneven legs' I love that description and I really like this poem. Sounds like she went 'fishing' and didn't like what she caught. Thanks.....10.... Richard

Gave me a smile. Thanks for sharing.