Lost In Consequence Comments

This poem was perfect. I disagree strongly with Denis Martindale's critique. It had great meter, and a great message which was delivered with awesome imagery. One does not paint over a Van Gogh or a Picasso, just because, that one individual wishes to ignore it's true meaning, or obviously wishes to not understand the artist's artistic brilliance, because of their own selfish habits of style. Great write-keep it up. God bless all artists-MJG.

This poem goes right to the heart, sad and well written. Kathleen

avery heartfelt write fullof inner questions...lovely write

Painted with the ink of pain on the canvass of disappointment and mortality. Sad but supremely significant.

If I read poetry that doesn't create a pattern to follow, the words jar. So this poetry is awkward. Put those comments to one side and study the meanings rather than the expected poetic patterns and I believe the reader gets the verbal understandings of what we say when we say we're sorry. Words don't come easily and we struggle to put across the pain that's still inside. This pain actually prevents us from voicing our wants and our needs. So this writing represents someone in pain who can't get this to flow as smooth as silk. The writer doesn't do this. The writer goes back to the words and edits them into phrases that flow. I would like to read edited versions that actually used rhymes and that had a regulated set of syllables per line or rhyme sequence eg 8,6,8,6 verses. Publishers like conventional style, so it doesn't hurt to follow their guidelines to create something more likely to be published in anthologies. Expressing oneself in phrases that lack style will lower the effectiveness of the work. There are some good foundations for the theme, so revisit the key phrases and fit rhymes and create a more powerful piece of poetry.

I can relate to it atleast now when things are not really going my way I too am lost in consequence good work

it's not an easy thing to admit to one's failures and shortcomings, but having done so makes you a better man...asking forgiveness brings healing...i feel your pain...

So beautiful. Every single word is precious...10. Keep it up!

i can not say any thing it's just perfect......10++++

wow a very well written work. a heart rending piece of yours. thanks best regards, jdh

There is a lot of deep thinking going on here. None of us is perfect and your sensitivity bursts through. Excellent poetic work! Karin Anderson

Such a poignant composition...so touching piece...Thanks for sharing..10

deep and heartfelt, leaves an indelible imprint of your sensitivity

A very touching heartfelt poem Pablo, we all make mistakes because we are human, 10 Lynda xx

The shadow of deep regret falls arcoss every line of this powerfully written poem. You are a very fine wordsmith. Take care. Warm regards, Sandra

This is quite lovely, Pablo and sensitive, deep and heartfelt. A '10! ' Best Wishes, Marilyn

very good composition...rhymes helped this piece immensely...I really your expressions...10

Pablo this is deep and thoughtful write. Keep writing... Regards Mark

Stunning write, you certainly have a way with words Mr Cruise.. all the very best jon