Look At Me: A Slam Poem Poem by Vonnie Postit

look at me.
go ahead,
look at me.
tell me what you see.
come on now don't be shy, now
it's important.
my whole life
is depending
on what you see.
I'll tell you what I've heard.
they say I'm
a bigger girl
a Mexican girl
a greasy girl
not enough paint on her face but
too much clothes on her body.
they say I'm
a simple lookin girl
one of those
ordinary girls, you know?
they say I could benefit
from a visit from some tweezers
to pluck away my independence
from a gym membership card
to sweat out all my ambition
from a breast enhancement
to enhance my vulnerability.
they whisper
in the sensitive ear
between my 'whimpy' hands
telling me
what they see.
they whisper
with a blade
they whisper
with intent to cut
intent to carve
intent to sculpt
to sculpt a woman
pleasing to your small eye.
to recreate a better version
of a woman you
don't have to fear.
because when I look
at you,
all I see is fear.
fear at the chins that accompany
my jaw line.
fear at the touching
of the neighboring skin
on my stomach.
fear of the color of my flesh
that holds
the most interesting things
of those who came before me.
why should those exist?
why should those be heard?
I'm an ordinary girl,
haven't you heard?
when I look at you,
all I should see is fear.
because all you see,
all you can see,
is the drop of water
concealing the universe
I have in me.
what you see
is the silence before the tornado.
the eye of the hurricane,
the calm before the storm.
I've got fire
under this layer of ice.
I've got gold
under this layer of ice.
I've got the world
that is my soul
under this layer of ice.
and when I look
to the world,
when I look to the
universe that owns you,
and all that enslaves you,
to be honest,
and we're being honest,
all I see
is the most
honest truth
version of what
I see
in me.