Lonely In The Dark Comments

I didnt know what it was I feel so endangered I saw an extended hand That wants to grab me towards its unrevealed body I ran away I hear a male vioce Calling my name superb expression great 10+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

But suddenly their voices r gone (line 15) , ok seriously do i really even have to explain why this is wrong? using texting language in a piece that you make is just unprofessional and distracting to the reader, is it really that hard just to type out the word are? you cant even try and defend yourself by blaming it on syllables or rhythm. Just knowing that some one, (line 40) , in this example the author spelt someone as some one when it is clear that was not there intention.

It really dark here (line 8) , In this example the word It should be replaced with It's I hear my mom voice (line 9) , In this line from the poem makes no sense, the way that its written leads the reader to believe that the author is hearing their own voice, and if I'm not mistaken that is not what the poet wanted to portray.

Ok before people start raging at me I'd like to say that I respect poets and all the hard work they put into their poems. However from my perspective it seems almost as if this poem was written by an unprofessional teenager who was to lazy to edit and correct their mistakes. To support my point here is a list of a few of the mistakes:

this is a very spiritual and revealing poem... i love your openess

I loved this one very heart felt, we all feel like we are alone at times but with god we are never alone he is always with us.

I went through this too, Jesus found me. i feel what you mean.

Nice. I'm going through the same feelings. Fortunately I found a friend to help me throught this hard time.

fine writing about lonerliness, fear and darkness.Maxim Muyu

I know exactly how you feel. great poem.

stunning feelings which came through a warm words.. keep up.. you seems to be a great poet.. yours hazem

Amazing poem, i loved it, keep writing id like to read more of yours

Beautiful writing so full of empathy and compassion, awesome words Love duncan X

With love and recognition we can conquer all. Good concept Nouri. A a very good and positive start. Keep writing. jim

nice one, , and good start.. wish you more.. yours hazem

Beautiful ending, Nouri... a nice transition from darkness to light. Keep writing! Brian

Nouri...this is a very deep and emotional piece. Very good imagery. I could feel your pain and your yearning and I hope you find solace soon. : o) Bobbie

Nouri I'll come and get u from the dark, cause I am the knight of the light. I'll show you the way to happiness but then I have to go to save another soul from the dark brotherhood. Take care Roger