Limerence Poem by Sharon Namwalizi

Silence taught me many things.
It showed me
How fictional everything was
Once I finally sat with it.

It's true
What they say:
You can lose yourself in another
Like a state of drunkenness.

I don't think I was sober.
I was bolder
Or maybe
Just not myself.

Doing it for the plot
I dared to hope
Probably
In the wrong place.
Somewhere
I could be replaced.

Maybe just a standby
Waters to be tested
Never to be chosen.

Like the wind
I carried your words
As if they meant something.
I carried them far…
Until I lost myself
In the waves.

The girl who looked back at me
In those waters
I didn't recognize her.
And I didn't know
How to rescue her.

For a long time
The debates in my head
Became pointless.
My thinking was distorted
But I couldn't see it
Because I believed
Anything that felt good
Even briefly
Was safe.

Doing the hard thing
Came later
When I finally started listening to Him.

No sugarcoating.
No quick fixes.
Just truth
And a heart willing to learn
Not linger.

I lingered too long.
Even when I wasn't fully awake.

Then I realized
He had been speaking all along.

But my heart
It was too selfish to listen.
Too eager to feel
A dying spark
Fading flames
Afraid of forgetting
What it meant to feel.

So I made room
For the wrong pieces
Ones that pretended to fit
While quietly
Poking holes
Draining me slowly.

But He chose me.
He holds my heart
Like it matters.

With a love so strong
You can't help
But pour it out again.

Note to self:
Listen to Him
Really listen.

~ sharonnamzi
29/03/26 01: 35