Letter From An Orphan To His Father Poem by Dan Katoha Jr

Letter from an Orphan to His Father

Dad…
I wish you had lived a little longer.
Long enough to watch me grow, fall, and rise again.
To cheer for my victories,
And wipe away my failures with just one look, saying:
"It's okay, son. You'll do better next time."

I wish you were there…
When my hands trembled with pride,
When my eyes glowed with courage,
When my heart searched for a model.
But you were no longer here to witness your son
Becoming the man you once dreamed I'd be.

Dad…
You're really gone. For real.
It all began on a December 25th,2011—
A Christmas with no stars.
You felt strange pains,
As if life itself was striking you with an invisible hammer.
I was just a kid — eight or nine —
Still believing in gifts under the tree,
Not in coffins buried beneath the earth.

I didn't know…
That your pain was the start of your fall,
And that January would be your final chapter.
I just wanted to celebrate.
But you were already… fading.

You were my superhero.
The one I wanted to become,
The one I spoke of with pride at school.
But I learned — harshly —
That even the strongest heroes fall someday,
And not every cape
Can slow the fall.

You left mom a widow,
And me…
An orphan, with a letter for a pillow.

Dad…
Did you know I've never truly accepted your death?
I still tell myself you'll come back someday.
That this was just a bad dream,
That you only took a long detour.

How could someone as strong as you
Die so young?
You were only thirty-three.
You still had a thousand things to live,
So many laughs to share, so many lessons to give,
And me…
So many words left unsaid.

Dad…
I don't know if I'll ever fully forgive you.
Not for dying…
But for leaving too soon.
For abandoning mom,
Your sons,
And your only daughter — the one you called your divine grace.

You left behind a silence
That no word can ever fill.
You became an absence
Heavier than a thousand presences.
You became the silence
In which I still scream your name.

Dad…
I hope heaven keeps you warm.
I hope your rest is peaceful,
And that the angels let you smile
Whenever you think of us.

I wish you peace,
Even though I've never found mine.

Dad…
I love you.
Even if my love echoes into nothing.
Even if my voice can't reach the sky.
I know you'll never read this letter,
But I'm writing it anyway.
Because it's all I have left.
Words…
And you,
Still alive—inside.

Your son. Always.