Let's Be Friends Poem by Sharon Namwalizi

Let's be friends.
I know we said we'd try.
Said it felt easier than becoming strangers again—
But the longer I stay here,
Pretending I'm not holding back an ocean
With every drop shouting your name…
The more I realize I'm drowning.

The longer I act like these random texts
And half-hearted conversations mean something—
While all I hear
Is what you're not saying—
The more I ache for what we were.
You.
Me.
Us.

And I wonder—
What if things had gone differently?
What if, just once, it turned out in my favor?

But then,
Sometimes,
I wonder what if we never met at all?

But now it's too late
You're carved into my memory like stone.
Some days, I ask myself—
Was I just a fantasy you lived
And got over?
Did I help you conquer trauma
You didn't even know you had—
While I was left
Traumatized?

I prayed it wasn't real.
Because deep down,
I knew how this story would end.
And it's the kind of ending where no one walks away from sane.

I see you,
You seem happy.
And sometimes,
I catch myself in a twisted little fantasy—
Thinking maybe it hurts you too.
That maybe you also get mad
At how messed up it all became.

But the truth is,
I don't think I understand
This whole 'being friends' thing.
One minute, you're warm—this great friend.
The next, you're cold.
And honestly?
That's not what friends do.

It just… sucks.
Because it feels like you don't care at all.

So no—
I don't want to be friends.

~sharonnamzi
Inspired by grey's anatomy s2e20
19: 26: 17/04/25