Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Let Me Be Alive Comments

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You are my song, let me be a singer
You are my poem, let me be a poet
You are my dawn, let me have the shine
You are my breeze, let me have it flowing
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ROCHISH MON
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Roseann Shawiak 20 November 2013

Love the essential content of the poem, and expression. It's just the repetition of You are my.. takes away from the musical sound of it and bogs it down. Try condensing some sentences and putting them together. Would love to read it again after rewrite - let me know okay? Thank you for sharing. RoseAnn

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ROCHISH MON

ROCHISH MON

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