Kong's Messy Poem 7 Comments

Messy poem, huh? The structure isn't quite that messy, but you definitely are overusing the word 'you' if you didn't notice. The first stanza makes me laugh for some reason, I don't know why. Maybe it's because I love the sarcasm, or perhaps because you are stating the obvious (because only an idiot would read something that's on fire) . Maybe addressing the person without actually saying 'you' would work much better. Such as in the second stanza. You can rephrase it perhaps, even make a new phrase like 'a year-long love letter' or something. The last stanza doesn't really suit the poem. It is too weak for a such a sarcastic, unrequited love poem. Either re-think it or delet it. Overall, I love the first stanza.