King Of Fools Poem by Kevin Carney

What a change it’s become.
Through your eyes,
I had seen the flicker of light begin to end.
What’s the use of hanging on?
The fine threads missing the needle to thread.
It could have been a timeless run, never to end.
Your silence, your distance you started to keep.
Was it your decision or someone else’s?
Into my mind,
you travel and take a hold a little piece at a time.
You could have owned me,
all you had to do is try…
It’s been a struggle just to keep you so near…
Turning and spinning…
The decision of indecisions.
Calling out your name in the still of the night.
Only to find you’re no longer beside me.
All I can say did you walk over me again?
How could you be that cold, to use me once again?
Let me lay down on this cold floor.
Now you can step on me like the rug I feel I become.
I tried to understand you, I never thought I could.
I tried to never shut you out; instead you did it to me.
I wanted to believe you despite all you said.
Never did it really feel right.
I looked for that day,
maybe everything would turn around.
All I asked for some time,
to build these fragile pieces.
I think I am losing my grip on what is me….
It seems, after all this I am somewhere else…
The pain you created its hurt so much.
Was I foolish to endure it for so long?
Losing my grip, I just didn’t give a damn…
It was you or nothing, at times I felt so alone.
I still keep coming back for more…
You just don’t get it…
I am the perfect fool…
You know I will be there for you…
No matter what has happened,
I still come crawling back.
Maybe by now I should have wizened up.
It’s all too complicated,
it’s such a strange destiny.
Maybe it’s all my own making…
You don’t understand how you make me feel…
It’s so on and off, it’s the only thing I can do.
Is to hold on as best I can…
The king of fools I think I have become.