The foglight flickers on and off
Giving the scene a ghostly illumination
The murderer scampers across the state line
In search of a cave, he will find it this time
...
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I love the pair of rhyming lines at the end describing death. Those are really creative ways to describe it. This poem really tells a story, which I think is really cool. You say you want to make a living of writing poems and songs. Well this would make one helluva song. Keep up the awesome writing.
A deluge of death dancing on the floor of our mortality. Rich with reality my friend!