Chhap Chhap
Kaali raat ke kohre me ek shikaare ki aawaaz
Chhap Chhap
Koi parinda bhi yahan naa aata aaj
...
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This is a wonder poem. It would have been great to have italicised some of the words. there is a childlike quality to this and that gives it a feel for music. A street tune, sung by children. The use of both languages is great as it sounds lovely. had you had posted it in Hindi only, I would have worked on a translation (poor and literal, but a translation) I think that you should not explain what things, which may be alien to Western readers, are. For one, you should let the inquisitive reader discover for themselves or leave it to give a piece a mystic quality. The 'Chhap' sound description is wonderful and it detracts from its beauty by providing an explanation. This is a real Joy to read.
T. O.>>>Quite the innovaive Woman you are....And once again, you have thrown me the proverbial curve ball, as you continue to amaze with a myriad of assorted themes & writing styles....How much more diverse can you be, young lady? Fine Write, as always, my dear'''''''''''''''''FRANK
Excellent Poem Tranquil, and creative, excellent imagery. Take care.
Kashmir..... now for a decade or two is closed to the world - a paradise once and an envy of the neighbours! Oh! We now experience Kashmir only in the books and internet... Oh! The pain of those people..... what to say! ! ! Thank you TO for writing about Kashmir!
Good work, TO! I liked how you used Chaap Chaap, the sound to narret this 'sorrow'...or questions.. Preets
There is Kashmir, this poem is it's heart. is it 'Kashmir' Speaking this time? Good work
you have written it beautifully..........lovely poem