Just Talking Poem by Ghost Legend

I'm not sure I'll ever understand you
I try to make sense of your actions
But they're so confusing
I'm not in any way special, though
And that's how I know you never waited for me
You're just way too pretty to have done that
Way too human
And that's not your fault
It isn't anyone's fault
But it still leaves me wondering why you want me to believe that storyline?
Is it an attempt to say sorry?
Do you feel sad about leaving me to live the rest of my life without you?
I feel sad, too.
A part of me wants to know that you are okay, forever
But deep down I know sooner or later you'll be silent
Whenever you figure out whom you want to spend your life with, and how
And it makes me feel so sad
Because I feel so alone, you know?
I live every day in fear of becoming even more alone, of losing everything
And I always realize that your character was possibly the safest I ever felt
And I almost wish I could just find a way to fix everything
Just so that I could talk to you and feel safe again
But there is no safety
In something that isn't real
And your love is sadly not real
I wish it had been
Even though I know I still wouldn't have known how to do anything right
But as I live each day and notice that perhaps I'm not loved by anyone at all except my son
I feel lonely
And I feel so sad at how I'm being treated
Almost feels like she's getting revenge on me some days, most days
It makes me feel so sad inside
And I probably deserve it
And maybe I wronged you too
I don't know
I just feel sad, you know?
I just feel so sad
I wish someone inherently and genuinely cared about me for being me
But I'm realizing the world doesn't work that way
And my son does love me
But I think you know what I mean
I wish a woman felt romantic love towards me
But I don't think I will ever experience that
Isn't that sad?
But I know you will find love
You're too gorgeous not to
I hope you'll be happy
I really do
Thanks for helping me mature as a human being