All day the sky had been
Mediterranean blue
But then the evening breeze brought in
One tiny dark grey cloud
...
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The grammar and spelling issues detract from the educated readers' enjoyment of a very good piece
it is lightning and not lightening. the poem is jarring because the ideas were not presented in proper sequence.
Particularly the manner to which utter chaos of the storm is described, as though the winds and the storm compete for skyward supremacy. As a lover of storms as you know, this struck a chord with me.
And with a slow thud, thud, thud The rain then came down Which suddenly became a cascade Drumming hard upon the roofs The lightening scratched across the sky- - - Excellent! ! ! !