Just A Shadow In The Night Comments
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the trees are silvered with moonlight
yet there is no day and neither is there night
the empty house is etched in moonlight
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well done this is a unique poem not every poet can write it, thank you for sharing
Wow, thank you for all the kind and helpful comments you have made, Soran, you make me want to grab a poem and start another poem- -but my novel is calling my name and it sounds grumpy! ! ! Thank you for all the help you have given to me concerning what works and what does not!
am I part of the past or am I in tomorrow? or lost somewhere in between light and sorrow?
very poetic and mystery images started with, then we find a logic quistion in the middle part, finally came to a sorrow bit, all together make a brilliant poem that need us to have a look into the hidden sides of the meaning and unsaid part, that would be a real discovery after reading an amazing poem such as this one,10++and into my favourite list
This delights me! ! ! Whenever one of the most positive role models in this group say a poem of mine has captured his attention is to me a most meaningful respect. Thank you! ! ! !
I have eaten too often the fruit of the poisonous tree and my fallen heart is silvered with loneliness
Another wonderfull discovery of a great poet I shall expect more of these insights
WoW, thank you, Benjamin, but I must post a warning sign- - I have a peculiar sense of humor and it breaks out in poetry every now and then. But I have more respect for my sober poems... really ;)
This one goes to myfavourites. The title has so much impact. The idea of a shadow existing within an environment that does not permit its being...true definition of loneliness, isolation....oblivion. A great poem, Susan.
You lit me up with this comment! ! ! You always see beneath the surfaces and that makes the posting of poems worth all the work that went into it! ! ! ! Thank you for being here on PH- you raise the spirits of many beginning poets here! ! ! !
'am I part of the past or am I in tomorrow? or lost somewhere in between light and sorrow? ' - Never thought like this earlier myself, but after reading your poem, started thinking. A nice, thought provoking poem. Thanks for the 'Poet's Notes', that helped me understand the poem better. I am also enlightened by the comments of so many wise and accomplished poets here. Thanks to all!
I am glad the Poet's Note helped. Yes! ! The poets here are very bright and their comments often clear up the meaning of several poems that I had no clue about! ! ! I find their comments enrich and expand my mind in ways I would never have done on my own!
The soul betwixt /between. A heavy melancholic read that adresses the search, reason and connection in everyones heart. Beautiful...10
Simone, to hear you say these words gives me so much encouragement because they come from a top-flight poet whom I respect and whose skill and talent I envy.
a wonderful poem with questions asked? coloured silver is the things that don't last! ...………….well written Susan
Thank you Tom. I agree...So few things do last. The world isn't known for its steadfastness
We cannot undo our misdeeds but we can learn lessons from it, we can think and change our future. Before forgiving others we must forgive ourselves Nobody is free of the bondage of instincts, we all are slaves of our instincts. A thoughtful poem that makes its readers thoughtful.
PH has again dumped my reply to a comment. I know I thanked you for the depth of your discussion about this poem. My records indicate I read a poem of yours- A Man and His Bird- which I enjoyed very much. I shall continue to check to see if my comments have slipped through the cracks. Thank you.
And finally it is the 'bondage' - the bondage of human conscience, of us knowing the right from the wrong that really messes with us. Yet this feeling of knowing we have done wrong is what makes us better human. If we didn't accept our faults, we would have been celebrating the greatest crimes (which we already do anyways) . A wonderful poem Ms Williams, thanks for sharing it. P: S: Apologies for dividing my comment, the site won't allow me put it as one. Have a nice day ma'am: -)
Yes yes yes yes- -exactly. If we don't sorrow over the ill we have done, we can not hope to change. Mr. Red, you are welcome to make as many comments on my poems as you wish. Pop those puppies on the autopsy table and dive right in and see what makes them tick. I do the Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 comments too when a poem has reached out and grabbed me by the throat or the heart! ! ! !
The lines in the second stanza with the image of the setting sun made me feel that the speaker is old. For a moment, I wondered what acts have they performed at a younger age that they regret? Who cares? After a while it is the feeling of regret than the act that persists. Lost indeed is the regretful, maybe repentant would be better word. (... continued...)
Oh, you are right- - repentant is the better word... and remorseful and grief-stricken because the ripples from the act committed set one on a different path, a dark path. Bad choices are paid for- -unfortunately often by other people than the perpetrator. [ off to part 3! ! ! ]
I really like the imagery in the three stanzas, perhaps symbolic of what state of mind the speaker is in. The moonlight, shadows, empty house, all are perhaps images of loneliness and desperation. And yet, the speaker is clueless as to whether it is day or night. Maybe, it just means it doesn't matter. When we suffer, and as the poem's title suggests suffer from 'conscience', which from experience, I know to be the real pain in the behind (!) , we are lost for good... (... continued...)
How wonderful to hear from a reader who follows the poem as if it were written from his own heart! The darkness, the shadows, the emptiness of the house- -yes- images of a desperate loneliness and heart-breaking regret. We do suffer don't we when our conscience scourges us for what we have done and cannot change. [off to part 2! ! ! ! ]
this thought of being neither night nor day light is wonderful as the night chases the day day chases night away and so be it like a serpent trying to catch its tail the founder of the BENZENE symbol was absolutely right so to stay out of plight enjoy the day sleep through the not...but not fully
Hi there Poet Poet! Thank you for reading this and giving it a thought-filled response! I appreciate it very much.
A captivating and creative composition that is full of feelings that flows in a fantastic flow that magnifies our mortality and chronicles challenges in an excellent way!
An amazing alliterative and affirmative examination of the shadowy world of sin and rueful regret - -hehehe- -thank you for your poetic comment, Howard! ! !
A kind of purification is needed for every soul before it is completely absolved of all stains! As human beings none of us is perfect! We often eat from the forbidden tree and our soul loses its innate brilliance. Our ultimate goal in life is to retrieve the lost innocence and grace! I see your poem as a self confession born out of a deep spiritual longing for better grace!
You read it right, my friend. We all yearn for a cleaner soul to present to our maker. I really regret the little sins- the ones that would have never been committed if the heart mind and soul had been kept focused on God. Then the big ones- -they really gouge the spirit. Thank you for reading and understanding with typical Valsa grace!
Right From The Start Your Words Hit Heart! ! ! ! ! ... Ever So Moving And Powerful! ! ! ! ! ...You Sound So Blue, Though...: ( I'am Sorry I Haven't Been Around Yet, Much... Pray Your Days Will Be More Happier And Bright! ! ! ! ! ...This Is Ever So Beautifully Done Too Though! ! ! ! ! ... Endless 10S! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! +++++ I am In and out here, a bit... yet.. But, Back Asap... If Anything You Need... (Dear! ! !) .. God Bless! ! ! ! ! ...
Bless your heart, little Blossom [hehehe], all is going well in the Land of Craziness. Thank you for letting me know how the poem impacted you- all input helps! Don't take my dark side so to heart that it disturbs your peace-of-mind my dear. I have lived long enough to have huge regrets. Thank you for those enthusiastic cheerleading starry eyed tens!
It feels like the darkness of bondage has come upon me that I have eaten too often the fruit of the poisonous tree and my fallen heart is silvered with loneliness the kind that hurts the soul and gives no deliverance.......so touchingly inscribed on mind and soul. A brilliant poem presented astutely. The beginning of the poem is much enchanted. Thank u dear madam for sharing this gem.10 .
Thank you for your kind words, friend Kumarmani, and for pointing out what affected you the most about this poem. That is extremely helpful in the growth of poets! ! ! And thank you for the 10. :)
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7/20/2025 11:23:09 PM # 1.0.0
Thank you for the read, Robert. Hah! I finally understand what you are doing with the " Thanks Susan for your comments. Very much appreciated" You are cleverly thanking me here because PH in their remarkable reason have closed the reply boxes. Clever, Robert, clever. I have posted my thanks on the comment box of the poem commented on thus creating a mess@! ! ! !