Wednesday, November 14, 2007

'It Will Be Ok.' Comments

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What can describe what I’m feeling right now?
Words that are used to describe feelings,
Cannot describe what I feel.
No one understands what I am going through.
...
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Selina Gurgacz
COMMENTS
Paul Michael Curren 14 November 2007

As far as the theme goes of your poem I think it is clear and direct. I have been there where trust alone is no longer enough to hold a friendship together, where words become unclear and in the way of what is really meant. Where the cause of the problem can no longer be addressed or where things have twisted out of control and you are left voices in your head claiming how things could have been different. To get back to your poem, I think you use too many words to describe it. You keep saying the same thing in other words. I'd try to make it shorter and try to use add more imagery I like you to tell me what you think it feels like and not what you tell me to think. Give it one more go and seek that thing that makes you feel so much for her that it speaks your thoughts and feelings. I always see her everyday is an example of reusing words to tell he same thing. Have fun and don't feel to put off by my words as they are just that.

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Selina Gurgacz

Selina Gurgacz

Brisbane
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