Intoxicated Comments

I'm a little bit tipsy but I'm alright. Feeling unnoticed, unwelcome and uninvited. I pretended to be one of the crowd. I laughed.I smiled.I talked, I'm not sure if they were listening, I assumed they were. I managed to fake a smile when he talked about her. I drunk every turn, even if it's not mine. I wanna get drunk to make me feel numb. i wanted to get dizzy so that I could not hear them properly. I couldn't open my eyes properly, I'm about to pass-out but I don't want to. I pretended I'm enjoying the conversation. I pretended I'm fine, that I will not spoil the night. I'm about to throw-up, it's coming, I was holding it in. I wanted to let him know that I'm good at this. I wanted to let him see that I am strong. At last, I was able to hold it and forgot about it.

I pretended we're okay... that we're actually friends now. I assumed it was fine with me around in the room, IN his room.I pretended we're COOL. I pretended I'm not jealouse. I pretended that it was okay. What i have seen was no malice at all. That it was nothing between him and her.I drunk one shot after the other, but i still feel the pain. I still feel the urge of going out and scream my mind out or perhaps go home. A long sound-sleep might take this evil mind at ease. However, I'm seizing that opportunity to stay the whole night in his room. I looked forward on feeling how it feels to see the morning light with his presence around.
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