Intoxicated Comments

It's good, but there is something that it needs, just not sure what it is.

2. Every cliche about drunkenness in one poem, with a few regular cliches to boot ('mind's eye' is a particularly bad one.) Rule of thumb: If you've heard a phrase more than twice, it is likely a cliche. Even twice is pushing it.)

Puts me to mind of someone I once passionately loved. So yes it makes me feel.