Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Into Dust Comments

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The green blades dance
And the wind creates the slightest breeze
As the morning sun ascends
Stirring the blooming leaves
...
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Brianna Trombley
COMMENTS
Kimber Harrison 28 October 2009

WOAH! ! I love it! ! ! Except, I mean, it's a little....democratical for me.... Or not, i'm 13, i'm to niave to have that opinion lol. But, it was so....like, pictury...or whatever...i don't know... what's the word? Anyway, the ending was so like unexpected! It probably shouldn't have been with the 'Which is quickly becoming rare' line, but I'm not very intelligent. lol The first stanza bothers me a tad. Just cuz the transition from that 1st and 2nd line could have been a little smoother. But, it's one of those things you really don't care about it just something that after the fifth read I noticed. :) Good work man...woman...you..? I probably shouldn't have done this after reading that message from you. It got me in the 'drag things on forever mood' lol

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Brianna Trombley

Brianna Trombley

Michigan
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