Insomniac’s Tale And Pink Milkshake Comments

you definately have a different approach on poetry but i must say i'm captivated. your poems have a hint of humour. like that

Wel, een ding kry jy reg: konstruktiewe kritiek! en nogal van die 'likes' van Yoonoos Peerbocus wat soos die oracle is hier rond! Ek wens mense kan sulke goed vir my skryf in plaas van 'ons hou van die feeling van die gedig' en so aan... jy is op die regte pad - jy soek nog jou styl en jy het nie enige reels nie... hou so aan, Gerhard... aanhouer gaan hier defnitief wen.

I know the experience. I think you mean 'Tale' instead of tail. Tale means a story. Tail belongs to an animal. Also, 'a testing' is awkward. 'My words to them usually melt like butter.' Americans have the saying 'Butter doesn't melt in his mouth, ' meaning he can do no wrong. It's a funny play on words or an accidental one. The poem needs to be honed down. Get rid of any excessive words, even if they rhyme. I like a good rhyme or internal rhyme, but I would rather see a clear metaphor than forcing words together just to make them sound alike. Very good. Kaye