Sunday, October 25, 2009

In Grief Of Jody Comments

Rating: 5.0

A heavy weight pressing down on my shoulders
Head hanging, limp hands, shallow breaths,
Tired eyes that stare at nothing
Numb to touch
...
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Beth Bailey
COMMENTS
Afzal Shauq 09 January 2010

lovely poem..well written and quite impressive too 10/10

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Matt Ransom 14 November 2009

See, this is better. I can tell you really felt this. This is something that really burdened you to be expressed. For a little punctuation, change the last lines to: Numb to hope

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