I'm The Strong Friend Poem by Cloe C

I'm the strong friend
I'm the friend that keeps going even though life wants to weigh me down
I'm the one friend that is still there for you after you gave them every reason not to
I'm that one friend whos counting reasons not to die to help me fall asleep

I'm the nice girl you wouldn't suspect of sinning
I'm always smiling you wouldn't suspect the rage within
I get home and my happy wipes off my face easier then mascara
I've been holding onto lipstick in the shade of hope

I'm the one friend who will do anything to make others happy
yet I'm never really happy myself
no one asks me my favorite food
no one cooks my breakfast in bed with love

no one heals my wounds or gets me a bandaid
I leave one in the bathroom for the next girl filled with tears
I leave one for my neighbor who I should love
I leave one for my therapist and friends

I'm the one friend with a bad family life
I say I hate my mom but just wish she'd just care
ive learned from my father to lose the ones I love
I've learned from my siblings to take care of everyone

I'm the 'strong' friend
my alarm tripped over my strength
since then I've only been counting the seconds till I go back to bed
everything starts in my bed
the restless nights wishing I was happy

the nights of mummification
wrapped tightly in my doubts and worries
becoming half wolf from crying into the moon
becoming buried too deep to be dug back up

sometimes I feel life is a really bad April fools joke
I feel like everyone looks at me as the one person who forgot
I'm the easiest target in a room full of archers
I'm always one step behind

I fell off the back of the train
now I'm just chasing the steam trail
hoping I can get back on the tracks
I'm always one breath away from right journey

I'm the one friend who writes everything down
I forget everything within 5 minutes
Because I've been focusing on everything I've ever done wrong
I can't talk to you right now because depression is talking to me