I'm Not Easy To Love Poem by Cloe C

I'm a storyteller
the tips of my tongue dances with the butterflies that was once gave to me
my mouth is a graveyard that is too damaged to speak
my eyes staring into your soul and coming out of hell to get back
I'm a lover
I don't find it humiliating to love so much till I burst
my capacity for forgiveness will always stretch
so there will be a road of hope for your foot to land on
but I never said it will be easy to love me back
sometimes I'm quiet because too many battles are being fought inside my thoughts
sometimes I'm loud because I feel like I'm not being heard
and sometimes I just get really stressed and I don't know how to move on
this is the part of the poem where I get writers block
the inner parts of me scratching it's way out to move on
I block out the worst things said about my writing
I forget about the cites that took down my art for too explicit
I'm never enough or I'm too much
I don't always know what to do in the bad situations
When I'm just trying to be happy and dancing in the rain
Some train will race by and splash a puddle all over me
It's not easy to love me, but there are ways you can
When I get mad over the stupid math equation
And I can't stop rambling about how many times I failed the test
And the way I only get half way through the problem
That's when you solve the problem
You listen to me
And then you kiss me
until the trail of my past lovers are wiped away in the rain
until your name is the only imprinted thing in the new cement you built
Get drenched in my perfume so you can smell it all night long
my perfume will i grave it's way back into your cerebral cortex
so that your muscle memory will hold onto the shape of me
So that when I'm not there to hold you back you will remember me
I'm not easy to love but when I start to shut down, lift me up
I will start to doubt every word you have told me
I will fight my inner demons and angels to remember why me
Then I will start to lose hope in everything
That's when you hold me tightly in your arms
until my trail of tears covers your torso
and tell me every reason that you still want me
and we can ride the magic carpet of hope
I'm not easy to love
But if you get the chance to have my love
I want you to never forget it
I want you to wake up one morning like you had the best dream