Ifs Poem by Vonnie Postit

If
everyone had the ability to do it,
would i still want it?
in other words,
Do i believe in God?
If
reaching away is
SO FUCKING IMPORTANT
why do i see myself
as wobbling bubble letters that read
S.H.A.M.E.
If
I am so abundantly happy here like i claim,
why is it that it is 1: 44 PM on a sunny Monday &
i think i understand people who jump off high buildings?
i do not fear heights because i make mistakes.
I fear heights because I tell lies & more often
than not they become the truth.

IS SUICIDE A CHOICE?

I am about to have my 13th cigarette
of the day clocked in at 1: 48 PM.
My watch is never right.
Does it matter?