If You Had Known It Comments

If you had felt the pain the cut me into pieces If you felt the air that suffocated my breathes If you had known it big 'IFs'.... nice lines :)

i quote: '' It's a wish that sparkles once from the burning torture ''.. oh my God, this is a very VERY well written line of POETRY.. actually, the whole poem is so nice & so energetic. you are getting so close to something very inspiring. thanks4sharing this ! !

t's a wish that sparkles once from the burning torture And to know what u would have done is a great desire If you had felt the pain the cuts me into pieces If you felt the air that suffocates my breathes.............................. most passionate by flames of desire, yet painful as gleams of love being shadowed, eloquence of love as when slithers across the edges clouds, wrugt ingenious by imagery,10+++, thanks for sharing

I think this poem is blaming the love for all the pain she has suffered while sarcastically saying 'if you had known it'. The pain she feels because of his betrayal and abuse is massive. Good job.

Hi Rania - Another dark poem - good structure (five quintets) some consistency in rhyme - good use of English and good rhythm. It merist a TEN. V 1 The object of your desire is very destructive towards you and refuses to be at your side. V 2 This theme of being your attacker rather than your defender continues in verse two. They did not save you fom PAIN they were not your DEFENDER. In V 3 you are still ignored 'how harsh the memories'. V 4 'Why did you do it? ' You didn't save me from poison - you stabbed me in the back. V 5 'If you had known' - My burning torture - The pain - The mutilation - The suffocation - IF YOU HAD KNOWN. This is a situation we all face - not knowing - not understanding - acting in our own interest. I believe your poem will help us to evaluate our actions in similar situations. Love you in Poetry - JOHN.